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Changes

Changes

The year was 2015 and everything was going on fine. A great job, a good enough relationship and a budding relationship with God. I admit, due to my nature, I still felt like I could be doing better and I sometimes put some unnecessary pressure on myself, but looking back at it now, it was an exhausting exercise.

Fast forward to 2017, and I must admit, because of life and its ever-changing circumstances, I have changed. Although they are not drastic changes, they are changes that make me happier as a person and makes life easier.

Cynicism – A wise man once said, when someone advices you, before you accept that advice, see if they stand to benefit anything from that advice. If they do, be wary, if they don’t, still be wary, but at least, you are more certain it is good advice. In the last two years, I have come to terms that I have become cynical. I usually think of what a person would gain from a train of thought before I entertain it. At times, it has proven very helpful and other times, I have been proven wrong. Other times, it is just a precaution. I admit, I have developed some form of trust issues from it but, it doesn’t cloud my judgment because I am still logical about situations.

Openness – They say you should be open with your partner in a relationship to make them comfortable but I have also realised the flaw in this. Your openness just might spook your partner out because they are not ready for that level of honesty. However, that has not stopped me from being open. In fact, I have become more open in the last two years than I have ever been. Open to my loved ones though and not strangers. With openness comes this profound peace of mind and joy. Your yes stays your yes, no stays no. There is no need for explanations since you already kept the people that mattered in the loop.

Money – Two years ago, I could not save money to save my life. I spent as much as I earned. Before you jump to my defence and say I had bills to pay, I still live at home. I was what you call a spendthrift. But, slowly but surely, I discovered the need to save and our secure your savings make you when that emergency comes along. Although you are unhappy about spending that money, but at least, you have the money to even cover that emergency. Although I am not perfect at it (read as parents say I am not perfect at it), I have certainly improved. I look forward to the next two years for all the progress I have made.

Women – If we can’t be seen outside together, I won’t entertain your advances. It is not every woman that is good for you. Some of them will strip you of your every belief and some will build you. Two years ago, it was only about the looks for me. A girl had to be beautiful to pique my interest, but these days, it is more than that. A beautiful face alone no longer cuts it. You should be able to contribute to my life as much as I do yours. Also, background is necessary. It goes a long way.

Food – Bread, corned beef, ketchup and jam was a combination I once had no issues eating. These days, I find myself wary of what I eat. I have become more conscious with what I eat. I have cut down on red meat, processed food and fried food.

These are the major changes in my life in the last two years. What are the changes in your life in the last two years? Share with me in the comment section.

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4 Comments

Posted by on February 14, 2017 in Rants

 

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Slip Away

Slip Away

You slipped away,

You gave up on us,

You grew tired of us,

Not even a mention of it to me.

 

Why did you take me down this road?

Take me down the road just to leave me,

Why did you take me down this road?

Take me down this road if you wouldn’t walk with me.

 

I am not one to read between the lines,

You know that, you played on it,

But,

I had to open my eyes,

Open my eyes to see the handwritings on the wall.

 

It felt like you were just tolerating me,

Tolerating me so the blame won’t be yours,

You were just holding on,

Holding on to those memories,

Those memories that we’ve shared,

Hoping they’ll spark things up again

 

I no longer felt like your world,

I lost that feel,

I wished it was all in my head

I prayed it was just my imagination

Alas, it wasn’t,

It wasn’t me going paranoid,

It was actually happening,

Happening before my very eyes,

 

Despite everything,

You hold a special place in my heart,

No one has meant so much like you,

Though we didn’t make it,

Though you didn’t find that spark

I am still here,

Still here for you

 

I’ve not loved like I love you

Even right now, my heart still beats for you

My heart calls out for you,

I hope you’d hear,

Hear its calling,

Hear it and come back

Come back home to me, to us.

 

I love you now,

Even tomorrow,

Because to me,

You are everything,

Everything I need and so much more.

I am sorry we didn’t make it.

 
51 Comments

Posted by on March 19, 2013 in Rants

 

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