” You are grasping at straws” he said in his husky voice.
It was the same argument. How he was keeping tabs on her and how she could not be herself around him. It seemed like there was no end to it. After every argument, Seun always felt he had done enough to show her he had freed the reins she felt constrained in. But every time, she reminded him of how futile his attempts were.
Peju was sprawled on the bed, wondering how a beautiful thing like theirs could have turned sour. Truthfully, she could not deal with the intensity of Seun. He was always fussing over her, worried about her wellbeing, wanting to solve her every problem when all she needed him to do at times was listen. It did not help that they cohabited. She could not just up and walk out. Seun would deem it rude. Sometimes, she just needed to get away from them to think and sort out her demons.
” Seun, we need a break” she said as she broke the silence in the room.
“We are not taking a break from this relationship” he replied as he raised his voice.
“I am not your ex. The fact that a break didn’t work with her doesn’t mean it is the same with me. You need to stop doing this” Peju replied with irritation. She had warned him endlessly about comparing their relationship with his ex anytime she asked for a break.
He felt like his world would collapse every time she asked for a break. He hated how desperate it made him feel. If only she cared about the relationship as much as he did. Seun sighed as he picked his car keys. She stood in front of the door. There was no way she was allowing him drive in the condition he was. This always confused him. Was she stopping him because she cared or because she did not want to live with the guilt if anything happened to him?
“Move out of the way” Seun shouted.
“You will have to beat me for me to do that!” she said, half-laughing.
He sighed as he sat on the bed.
It was exhausting and if she wanted a break, Seun was ready to give her one. She’s always talked about working on herself. She was not used to his kind of love she said. She needed to make peace with God, find a way to love Him, love herself and be ready for Seun’s kind of love. He was ready to give her all that.
“How long is this break for?” Seun asked.
“I don’t know Seun. I can’t say. It might take a while” Peju replied. She hoped today was the day he finally agreed to a break.
“What does this break mean for us? What are we?” he asked seeing as the last time, she had only wanted them to remove the tag from them. It was too confusing for him. She wanted to be with him but yet be without him. He could not wrap his head around it.
“We don’t have any tags. We are just there. I still want you in my life” she replied. She hoped she had done enough to convince him of her intentions.
He sighed as he did not understand what was going on any longer.
“Okay” he said as he laid on the bed ready to sleep.
She joined him in bed, her head on his chest, stroking his chest gently. It was soothing for him. At least they were at peace till the next time trouble reared its head.
I thought she wanted a break, why is she cozy with me? He thought as they drifted to sleep.
********************** to be continued**********************