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The Voyage

Good evening folks. I am sure your week was awesome and you are looking forward to a great weekend. I got this in the mail and decided to share with you. If you do have any writing you want published on this blog, kindly email your writing of not more than 1,500 words to tolu_adeyi2002@yahoo.co.uk

 

Enjoy this as you read.

 

My relationships are the worst and the best. I would share them with you as I continue writing maybe. (Lol) I fell in love, lust, like for the first times. I had my serious first relationship, reunited with the one that got away, sought God for the first time, found Him and lost my fellowship with Him. It was really something. I’ll write about this as a story.
The One that Got Away
We had something special but there was always something missing. You know how hard it is to place a finger in something when you don’t exactly know what it is. That was it. There was this passion, this love but it was albeit undeveloped, untapped. We never got to explore all the possibilities of what could have been but it was great. It was partly my fault. My inability to commit coupled with your inability to be serious. Fun times but we had to part ways.

The Stalker
About the stalker, what can I say? It wasn’t love. It wasn’t lust. It was loneliness. An ache to be wanted, the longing for home, nostalgia, companionship. I wanted to find myself so bad. I wanted a piece of home, a piece of anything that I could feel real with. It was not what I needed but what I thought was enough. I was lost. Inexplicably my lowest. My basest desires were explored, still didn’t make up for anything. I felt it. I needed God not you. But I was scared, felt I needed companionship more. You were like a lifeline, not the one I needed just the one that made up for time, the place holder. I apologise now because I should not have led you down the road we went. You blindly followed, in lust I guess, I’ll never know. You cheated, it ended badly. You stalked me. I forgive you.

The One Night Stand
You were the sun in a very dark day. My thermodynamics partner. Lol. Under the silk sheets and smooth lies, we laid down. Had our night of fun and you never heard from me again.

The Healer
Do you remember the first night…you became my camp fire and I became yours?
Your words were truer than you could ever know. You guided me with your fire to see the light. His light. For the first time I sought, for the first time I saw. A light…brighter than all. Finally the path I needed, the one I wanted. I wasn’t broken any more. You mended me. I could be the me I wanted to be. I was in euphoria. But you healed me,j ust to break me again.

The One
You were the one I liked, turned The One. You accepted me for all my flaws. My mistakes. My crap. I suddenly saw I didn’t need to go through all this to have ended up here. But I did and we are still here. I love you. You give me comfort on a rainy day. I caused you heart ache but you picked up the pieces of my broken heart and showed me how to repair it. I love you.

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4 Comments

Posted by on May 9, 2014 in Article

 

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Don’t Date My Ex!

Hmmmmm….. What a Monday it has been. First, i left home since 7am only for me to drive halfway and find out I left my phones at home. As if that was not enough, traffic was crazy, almost had the car……………Anyways, today my very good friend and sister @Dj_Fleau is a guest on my blog. She has been on this blog before with the posts Ladies First and Categories of Nigerian Men. She blogs here.

Enjoy it.

I have heard all sorts of rules and regulation. Believe me when I say I have heard all sorts of rules and regulation, I mean I am a Covenant University Alumni and where else can we have heard that much rules if not at the home of a rule maker.Covenant University (CU) has rules ooo. Last time we had that much rules in existence black people were still being asked to sit at the back of the bus

If there is one thing I have learnt about rules is the fact that they are usually born out of occurrences. Something happens and the authorities do not like the result, a rule follows immediately *if you attended CU you would support me on this*…I guess in their mind that makes the rule justifiable. However there is this one rule I am yet to really know how it came to existence and why it is in existence and it is the ‘My friend and ex cannot date rule” WHY?

Before I start I did like to say I am on the fence with this rule before some sly babes or dudes would go and say ope oo someone supports us or before someone who has experienced this would curse me.

Most times when I ask people why they are so mad about their friend and ex dating they go “it’s against the friendship rule” please who wrote the rule and when was the bill passed.

I have heard people get angry because their friends/ex kept it a secret they were dating. You are telling me you would have been okay with it if they told you?

Some get angry because they started dating some months after they broke up. You are saying you would have been okay if they had waited a year or for a longer period of time before they started dating

I really need to get the basis and the clause in this rule. Is it a NO-NO to date your friend’s ex or is it okay to date them as long as some certain instructions are followed?

What if you treated them badly and here is this friend of yours who is going to treat them way better are you saying he/she does not deserve better?

What if they truly fall in love “knowing we can’t control who we fall in love with” are you saying they both do not deserve happiness of some sort?

What if they started dating almost a decade after you guys broke up. Like what does it matter you survived without him all those years?

Why is it considered betrayal if the supposed rule is broken? I understand if you say it is just awkward seeing them together or if it is emotionally disturbing but how is it betrayal?

Let me illustrate there are toys/shoes/things you had and over time no longer showed interest in them and someone tool them. Now tell me did you feel betrayed the next time you saw a friend or sibling rocking it (okay I don’t even know if this illustration makes sense… who cares).

Look you guys are over and forgotten sef it’s not like you were considering getting back and really he was going to date someone else and really it is none of your business who they choose to date next.

However I did like to also say dear friends if your friend breaks up with someone try as much as possible to reduce your familiarity with the person to avoid getting into such situation that would lead to a relationship.

However, between me and you there is no such thing as this rule, neither is it a crime or an offence, but people should respect the emotions of their friends and ex and try not to make them uncomfortable by engaging in such acts.

PS: In all honesty I feel if they really love themselves they should be together, as long as when I was dating the person they never had such feelings for each other and as long as the feelings started coming after we broke I think it’s okay…yes its hard but really you’ll move on believe me. All those babes and guys that hook up with their friend’s ex barely a month after the break sha.. That one no pure oooo…in short your head is not valid at all.

Please it doesn’t even count if you never dated the person sef. Like some girls would be saying well he asked me out first but I didn’t date him why did you betray me by dating him *if I hear* why you no talk yes……..lol

IN ALL HONESTY I REALLY NEED TO FIND OUT WHY IT’S WRONG

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Article

 

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What Exactly Do Women Want?

It has been a while I actually posted something that I wrote and thanks a lot to @DJ_Fleau for her post last week. It was a real lifesaver. How was your weekend? I guess it was just as fast as mine. I really wish weekend starts from wednesday. (Yes, I am lazy).

What exactly do women want? I have asked myself this question numerous times and I have tried hard to figure it out. Truth be told, it might vary from woman to woman but really, we guys do not actually have a clue as to what women want. Even some of these women do not actually know what they want. Most women you meet tell you their ideal man should be tall,dark,handsome,rich and blah, blah,blah. At the end of the day they meet the man and at the end of the day something is still missing. They still have something to complain about.

A girl and a boy meet and like each other and naturally she expects the guy to make the first move. If he moves too fast, he is desperate, if he takes his time, he is slow and has bad timing. What do women want?

Let us assume he gets the timing right by a stroke of luck, if he compliments her (genuine or otherwise) he just wants to sleep with her. If he does not throw the compliment around, he is not romantic and he is not open. What do women want?

She goes on a date with him, if he tries to be nice and opens doors and holds the chair out for her during the date, he is trying to hard and it is not in our culture. If he does not open doors or hold out the chair for her, he is not a gentleman. What do women want?

After the date, they probably are close and the feelings are stronger, if he does not reply her chat on time, he is busy with someone else and does not have her time. If he replies her immediately he is jobless. What do women want?
If he replies her with ‘K’ she is boring to him. If he types an epistle he talks too much. What do women want?

Finally they start dating, and things are all rosy. If he asks what her day is going to be like, he does not trust her and he is allover her. If he does not ask after her plans for the day, he does not care about her. What do women want?

If she gets into a fight with her best friend, and you decide to stay out of it, you are not supportive of her. If you decide to weigh in on it and say your mind, you are insensitive. What do women want?

If she asks you if she has added weight, and you say no, you are lying to her. If you say yes, she gets angry at you and starts feeling insecure and haunts you with what you said. She shows you girls who are skinny and asks that is what you want right? What do women want?

If you decide to hangout with your guys one weekend in the month instead of with her, she feels spited and says your friends are more important than she is. She makes you feel guilty, but when you want her to spend a weekend with you instead of with her friends, you are too possessive. What do women want?

If you decide to watch football instead of go shopping with her, football is your priority. She says things like how much are you going to get for watching it. If she decides to watch Kardashians and you say same, you are selfish. What do women want?

The list is endless. It takes a lot to actually understand women. A wise man once told me , if you want to be happy with your woman, just take her as she is. They are emotional and at times will do things that just makes you wonder if they are babies. Never try to change your woman.

 
17 Comments

Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Article

 

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Ladies First

*dusts cobweb from blog*
It has been a crazy week or two for me as I have been busy and well I also did hit a creative wall. All that I guess is gone now. This week I am having a guest on my blog. She has been a guest on my blog before with the post here. You can also visit her blog. I should warn you that you should read that blog with someone so people will not think you are mad when you start laughing alone. You can follow her on Twitter @DJ_Fleau. #ThankMeLater

LADIES FIRST….. no be bad thing to spoil man

God made man and then He thought to himself it is not good that man should be alone so He made for him a help mate WOMAN. The story is so straight to the point God created a help mate not a man mugu maker.

I am sure most women have said stuffs like “can you imagine the yeye boy he saw me buying coke he did not even pay for it. He sat there and watched me pay or can you imagine he paid for his bus fare alone and he allowed me pay for mine or can you imagine that boy he met me at the cafeteria he didn’t even offer to pay for my food (Why didn’t you offer to pay for his instead since he forgot to offer to pay for you)”

Its funny how over the years the world has been made to believe that anytime a man and woman go out or meet somewhere it is automatically the job of the man to pay for whatever bills they might incur as long as he knows the woman e.g. meeting him in a bus, you guys seeing a movie together, having lunch or dinner etc. It is like the job of man to pay for everything. Most women do not even leave with money anymore when going out with a man and most women would return their wallet to their bags the moment they see a man they know walking towards them because they assume he would pay for them.

What is wrong with a lady paying the bill for a date, what is wrong with a lady paying for the movie they are to see or the popcorn at the cinema, what’s wrong with paying his cab fare home (yes I said it), buying airtime for him or paying for his BIS without him asking for it and so on. Its little things like this that matter most times and men are more likely to remember things like this.

Truth is some men might see you as being cocky or a show off if you decide to foot the bill on a first date (depends on how you acted while paying), I am not saying you should pay regularly but at least once a yellow moon would be a nice time to pay for something. Believe me any reasonable man would appreciate that. You guys are at the cinema and you guys are selecting the movie and you quickly reach for your wallet and say “let me get this one you can get the popcorn” (The problem is most ladies can not do this because they always go on a date with empty wallet no vex money and have turned the man to sole provider).

I know you buy him gifts on Valentine’s Day, Christmas, his birthday, your anniversary or casually. I am not just talking about your boo, bobo, spouse, boyfriend, man or whatever they are called these days, I am referring to that young man you met yesterday at work, the young man you met on a flight, the young man who just told you he liked you, the young man who wants to spend time with you, that young man you met in the bus (what’s wrong with paying his bus money sef) etc.

I for one try to pay bills on first date, I might not pay for everything we purchase but I try at least to make sure I pay for something even if its just N200 for the drink we bought or for a snooker game he played or something, nothing is too small to pay for.

I am sure there are men reading this who cannot even say the colour of their babe’s wallet or purse because she never carries it or bring it out (shebi na when you ready to spend you go carry wallet now) when she has a walking bank beside her.
Who said men must always be the first to foot bills, God created Man FIRST before woman and not FIRST BANK. Except your boyfriend’s name is FIRST BANK then I guess when it comes to bill the guy will pay till eternity.

I know some men do not like women paying the bills neither am I saying the woman should pay for everything on a date because the truth is she might not have as much money as the man after all it was he that invited the babe and it was not in her budget at all but at least once a while babes should try small small. Do not wait until marriage before you start paying, when you and your husband go out. It is from boyfriend-girlfriend or normal friendship that things start

The one that cracks me up is when a babe invites a guy out to see a movie, or just hang out somewhere and when they get there he foots all the bill, she wont even try to open her bag to bring out her wallet not to talk of paying, she would simply order stand aside and watch him pay.*smh profusely*

I am not saying the babe should spend on a man over and over (its not like something is wrong with that), but I just feel a small thing as paying for the gala he buys in traffic, money for the parking space ticket (e no dey pass N200), bottle water he buys, the shoe maker that polished his shoe, the vulcanizer that pumped his tire…truth is when you pay for this at the end of the day he probably would try to repay you the money with triple the sum you paid (no collect am o) simply smile and say “it was nothing”.

Let me teach you a quick trick when next you go out to a restaurant or some place put your hand in your bag or bring out your wallet like you want to pay, you would see he would look at you and give you a smile like what are you doing simply smile back and say let me get this one, he definitely would say NO I got this one (that’s if na correct boy, no go try this one with Mr. AKA-GLUE…..baba ijebu, because you go pay tire).

How about we ladies try something that is out of norm, when next you go out with your mister pay his cab fare home, when next you run into your male colleague in the bus do not zip up your bag with your mind saying “ope ooo this guy go pay my bus fare” how about you pay for it, how about when next you go on a date for the first time with a brother you tell him you would love to share the bill (I know its sounds weird).

Most men respect ladies like this, they see her as independent yet considerate, they appreciate such women because they assume that such a lady wont turn them into their ATM (even if you do sef the guy no go feel am) plus as a lady its kinda fun when you take the role of the man for a second.

PS: Come this one no mean say because I talk say babes should try and pay first you brothers should start forming she should get the bill, na once a yellow moon I talk oo….. Once a while Ladies should do the stuffs first…

I am FLEAU.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Article

 

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