RSS

Overdosed

11 Jun

Overdosed

 

 

 

Overdosed,

Still not enough,

But not for you.

 

Smothered,

What you said.

Dumbfounded,

How I felt.

 

Misleading,

Words from your friends.

Emasculating,

Thoughts in my head.

 

Anguish,

When you left.

Distraught,

When you moved on.

 

Ridicule,

From your friends.

Pity,

From mine.

 

Confused,

When you came back.

Retribution,

What I sought.

 

Clarifying,

Things you stated.

Endless,

Your complaints.

 

Vague,

His love for you.

Excessive,

My love for you.

 

Impossible,

What you are.

Caring,

My weakness.

 

Take you back,

Butter you up,

Dump you at the altar,

What I plan to do.

 

Wicked,

Yes I know.

Fulfilled,

How I’ll feel.

 

Remorse,

What I won’t feel.

Hurt, pain and shame,

What you’ll feel.

 

Last laugh,

What I’ll get.

Tears,

What you’ll get.

Advertisements
 
25 Comments

Posted by on June 11, 2013 in Rants

 

Tags: , , , ,

25 responses to “Overdosed

  1. Leolude

    June 14, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Insightful!…I like d choice of words;the story line is sequential-i.e one thing led to d next.
    Great Work!

     
  2. lollykrown

    June 12, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    Gr8 piece, Thumbs up bro

     
  3. Mezie

    June 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    The writer reveals in this poem that he is still smarting from the break up. Though his lady comes back to him, his mind is bent on humiliating her before her family, friends and her church. This is the worst form of pay back.

    I like the simplicity in the choice of words. The betrayal and anguish running through the poem culminates in the vindictiveness of the writer unveiled towards the end of the poem.

    The poem does not employ full iambic pentameter (aa bb rhyming scheme). It rather adopts a free style. The beauty in the poem might unfold if iambic pentameter is employed which will give the words some symmetry.

     
    • coolprincee

      June 27, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      once again i’m awed by your adept analysis of poetry
      think i’ve got a thing or 200 to learn from you

       
  4. Ifeoluwa' O. Ifeoluwa'

    June 12, 2013 at 12:00 am

    Exclusive Piece!

     
  5. banjhie

    June 11, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    Hardehyi kindly follow my blog back Tanx! http://www.banjhie.wordpress.com

     
  6. banjhie

    June 11, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    This is good, Make Sense! …..
    You guyz kindly check dis out http://www.banjhie.wordpress.com

     
  7. babyadachi

    June 11, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    Which is okay. Vengeance, shey? That’s the sort of mind we have t times.

    Ku ise.

     
  8. ezrelaja

    June 11, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Madt! Feel like ccing my ex in dis…

     
  9. J Moks

    June 11, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    I like. Simple but still passes across d timeline clearly.

     
  10. Xolani Hlongwane

    June 11, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Very deep my brother, well written. It’s nice to see another side of your intelligence

     
  11. asquarebubble

    June 11, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Wahsere! That’s what I’m tawking bout. Ingenious stuff. I feel you.
    @asquarebubble

     
  12. Eni

    June 11, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    Great poem_nice use of words but each line dripping wit evil! Lol

     
  13. Benny

    June 11, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    i think with rhyme it would have more mileage. i like the s each word separated by a line is described by the line under it. its an interesting style. try and work on the ending i noticed your rhythm went off, try and keep the one word, then description thing going

     
  14. binyelum

    June 11, 2013 at 11:13 am

    Wow. Very deep…. I like. A lot. I should follow your blog.

     
  15. Oluwaseun

    June 11, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Lol @ the previous comment. we all have our dark sides. Each line delivering its own deep reflections. brilliant outpouring i’ll say.

     
  16. Niño

    June 11, 2013 at 10:17 am

    This is deeppppppp

     
  17. Chike

    June 11, 2013 at 10:05 am

    Deep!

     
  18. lekan

    June 11, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Gud one mehn.. I’ll pity d babe if it’s true

     
  19. udumark

    June 11, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Dude, poetry? Nice, d contrasts were good too.
    I hope it’s just a poem tho…more for her sake than urs! Hehe

     
  20. Tip_deezy

    June 11, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Great poem…. Thoughtful words..

     
  21. lare clay

    June 11, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Cool., great effort….

     
  22. moscomoet

    June 11, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Err….i guess we all feel like this when we’re hung up on a girl that’s hung up on a jerk. You become the constant; her rock of Gibraltar she can always fall back on till the said jerk reluctantly takes her back again.

    I guess we all find our breaking points sometimes and just feel the urge to revenge, to make her feel pain….

     
  23. teey

    June 11, 2013 at 8:40 am

    wow… hoping dis is jst a poem nd nt true

     
  24. tolulola

    June 11, 2013 at 8:22 am

    Scared…she should be
    True….I hope this isn’t
    From the depth of emotions,one usually gets the best ‘write’….nicely done Tolu but ur dark oh!!!*shivers*

     

Enter comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: