Good Morning folks. It is another Monday. I am sure you are safe and sound wherever you need to be. Today’s post is by a very good friend of mine. He is @CrimsonCr33d. He blogs here It feels like my friends are trying to take over my blog. LOL.
Friday the 24th, 9:00 P.M
I sat down and placed the Red wine on the small parlour table in my two bedroom apartment, my mate Dika sat in the chair opposite, his 5’12 frame care freely slumped in my chair, his dark brown eyes sparkling and taking in every detail, a mischievous smirk on his face, probably hatching some atrocious agenda.
Dika was the typical Covenant University spoilt kid, the kind of motherfucker whose parents could do everything for him and he knew it , accepted it and embraced it completely, the kind of kid that had travelled half round the world, graduated with a 2:1 in economics, would soon do a Masters degree in some obscure stupid course on quantitative mechanics in I.T, come back home to work in a bank, get promoted super-fast because his father is the head of some banking regulatory body, then move into politics and further fuck up the economy.
Yeah he was that kind of kid…
Dika popped the cork on the wine, the froth poured out and some of it stained my carpet and others miraculously found their way into his glass.
“So how was work today, Chidi?”
I shook my head slightly, look at this butty kid. Probably sat on his bed gaming FIFA whilst a servant poured all his drinks, and he sat here forming I can take care of myself, can’t pour a simple drink without drowning my carpet.
“It was fine abeg, how your side na?” I replied.
Dika smiled and held his hand forward, the wine swishing dangerously in the glass, “it was cool jare, and this fine assed auditor came to my office-”
I cut him off, “you dey scope auditor?? Why? You dey mad? Wetin do that your babe na? The one you told me about some while back!”
“8 months back you mean!”
I paused confused, “errm….okay! What happened?”
“It was Twitter oh, na there everything start!”
“Okay”, I nodded my head, encouraging him,” go on”
“You sabi that our classmate Tolu Smallz na!..The one wey him handle be @Hardeyi”
“Uhumm….I sabi am, na my guy na!”
Dika leaned back a faraway look in his eye, “one day I was at home tweeting, as usual bugging everybody and ranting, normal stuff”
He took a swig of wine.
“So now as usual, wanting some fun, I strolled into Tolu’s TL, as expected he was yarning one chick like that”
“Okay as usual, normal thing, so what did you do?”
“I jumped into the convo with one strange comment like that, can’t remember exactly what I said”.
Tolu replied with ‘you are mad o’ and the babe was like ‘you are incredibly funny’, so I followed and she followed back. Normal stuff, no biggie.”
I poured myself a bit of the wine, this was getting interesting.
Dika continued, “I didn’t know that I had just added a crazy babe to my list, my whole world was just about to change.”
Dika leaned forward, ” so I started little convos with the babe, didn’t even know her name sef, I just referred to her by her handle, but I was able to find out, she was a rock fan, as is my style na, I began to work on that, tagging her to lyrics talking rock and stuff, making funny comments on 40% of her tweets…
…The babe started warming up to me, started replying tweets with increasing speed and word counts…..
“Chidi you remember that my girlfriend then, Grace…
“Yea.The tomboy…the violent weirdo”, I nodded
“Yes that one. We had just broken up so I was tweeting about my heart break, this babe raced onto all my heartbreak tweets with comments like;
‘Eyaaah, sorry boo, awww, who will do this to a nice guy like you na’ and all sorts of such comments”
I swallowed hard, “Dika, she did all this and you didn’t know her name yet?” I raised my eyebrow.
Dika still had that faraway look in his eye, “yes exactly, so I needed to confirm how deep this attachment was getting, I began to form very grateful for the comments and care, and still she gave me no name”
“So right there on the TL I asked her what her name was, she DM’ed me her name”
“Seriously, she did that?” I interjected, “and her name is?”
Dika smiled, “let’s not call her name out eh, let’s preserve that anonymity, those who know her will know her”
“Come on!” I urged, “at least her effing handle bro?”
“No No”, insisted Dika.
I quickly looked at the quantity of wine still in his glass, was he drunk?
“Anyways”, Dika continued, “I gave her a sweet little nickname, ’cause I reasoned, if she had to DM her name, then it held some weird meaning to her, so in a way I was killing two birds with one stone, softening her heart with a nickname and covering her anonymity as well”
Dika sipped at the wine, “so now next thing I know she gives me a nickname right back,-”
I jumped in again, “what did she call you?”
Dika smiled ruefully, “teddy…she called me teddy”
I burst out laughing, “awww so sweet! You faggot!” I shook my head disdainfully. “So go on , Teddy!” I teased.
Dika smiled his eyes moisting over, “we flirted a lot, especially on twitter, it was straight forward no holds barred flirting, we would say anything and everything to each other..”
“Uhumm”, I nodded
“People began to get jealous, even Tolu noticed our growing attachment-”
I butted in,” and how do you think it made him feel?”
Dika stared me straight in the eye, ” How else would he feel?!”
I backed off, “ok go on, I am all ears”
“Three months passed this way, but to me she was just something to pass the time, and she had a boyfriend and I had and still do, that special female friend who had 90% of my heart”
“So it was a win-win situation”, I offered.
“Exactly”, Dika sipped more wine, smacked his lips and relaxed into the chair, then continued,
“Everything changed when her boyfriend didn’t love her anymore-”
“How did you know this?” I interrupted.
“I knew ’cause she told me, her tweets began to get real real moist, you know like she was having an over-flooding of Oestrogen into her brain”
I burst out laughing.
“And her tweets began to have this weird defeatist quality, so as the ‘shark’ I was then, I smelled break-up blood so I decided to attack…”
I jumped in,” oh yeah I remember your handle had shark something in it then…”, I laughed, “dika you irreverent bastard!” , I shook my head.
Dika kept talking, “I began to probe deeper and she told me all about her issues, so after much deliberation and what not I got her phone number”
I coughed and beat at my chest. Dika shook his head and continued talking.
“So when we started talking on the phone, she began to tell me all about how her boyfriend was beginning to ignore her and all that…all-”
I halted him, “her boyfriend was cheating?”
“No”, he softly said, “it sounded like her boyfriend just up and wanted to leave her”
“Anything she did?” I asked.
“Well, I heard only her part of the story so, I can’t say, ’cause as you guess she won’t exactly say she’s at fault to a new friend she’s trying to impress now will she?”
“So as the ‘friend’ that I was I offered my consoling services, she would tell me about her issues and demons and I’d do my best to exorcise them.
…So eventually she grew tired of being ignored and then began to slowly lose her love for him and of course I was there the whole time, guiding her to freedom”
Dika continued,” as time went on, she began to get attached to me, it started first with the frequency of the talks, they began to be every day, she started laughing at the meaningless and inane of my jokes and statements, she began to demand more of my time and attention and then the ultimate, she began to stalk my TL.”
I interjected, “weren’t you stalking her TL too?”
Dika shook his head firmly. ” At all, there was no need, to be honest her growing interest in me was beginning to frustrate me, you see all the avi’s she posted of herself weren’t fine at all, she’s not ugly oh, it is just that she’s not the kind of babe I’d see on the road and approach, you get?”
I frowned in confusion, “err…well maybe I do, but speak on”
“So she began to tell me her deepest secrets, she began to tell me those of my friends who were toasting her seriously…”
“Hmmmm…That’s one way to know if I girl’s tripping for you na”, I replied.
“Well, one of them was that your friend the one who is always cool and collected in that your blog movie, for the basis of this tale, I’ll call him the ‘sheikh’!”
My mouth flew open, “what? For real?”
“Well that’s what she told me, and oh yeah, that your guy, that friend of yours you were always playing FIFA with in final year, the one who gave you gossip girls season one!”
I laughed happily, “oh yeah!! Him too? He’s a sure boy na!”
“But in all these things, I didn’t love her, I was basically tolerating her, then things began to get hairy with the babe I was chasing then, so an idea came into my crazy head”
“What was the idea?” I leaned forward.
Dika finished his glass and with shaking hands he poured himself some more wine, sloshing some on the desk and carpet again.
“I felt I was making some mistakes in my quest for the other girl, so I decided to use this girl as an experiment, and since she called me teddy, I decided to call her Arktos. Arktos is the Greek word for ‘bear.”
“Uh huh”, I nodded my head in wonder, “and she accepted this weird nickname?”
Dika snorted, “Nope she didn’t even know she had it, it was basically so I could easily sub her on twitter without being caught out”
Dika continued, “So one day as I and Arktos talked as usual, I kicked off my experiment, I told her I loved her.
I nearly fell off my seat in shock, “what??”
Dika smiled, “yeah…”.
“What happened? What did she say?” I asked barely able to hold back my curiosity.
“Nothing…there was like a two minute silence, then she laughed and said it was impossible that we were just friends and she seamlessly changed the topic.”
“Ok..she was playing hard to get?”, I proferred
“Arktos wasn’t playing anything, but I began to notice subtle differences in our following convos, she became more emotional towards me, she told me all about her family, she told me more about the guys who were chasing her..-”
I junped in again, “what did ‘Arktos’ say about my guys? …sorry ‘our guys’?”
“Concerning ‘sheikh’ she said her ex was talking funny about him, so I said her ex was jealous, so she angrily said she will ‘set p’ with sheikh so as to piss him off further” , Dika shrugged.
“Hian!” I exclaimed, “so did it work out?”
Dika sighed, “I doubt though,
“Concerning our Gossip Girl/FIFA boy, he was in her head, she liked him to an extent but complained that he wasn’t giving her issues more attention than his own issues, and when he got a girlfriend, I could sense her jealousy but she picked one fight too many with him and the last I know they don’t talk anymore”.
Dika continued, ” so funny thing is, I DM’ed FIFA/Gossip Girl dude and told him how I was runzing two girls at once, he laughed and told me not to let them catch me, most handy advice ever”
“Hmmm…So what happened next”, I asked.
………………… To Be Continued………………………..