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Monthly Archives: March 2012

It Ends Tonight (2)

It ends tonight, thinking to myself. All the guilt and anguish I feel will go with the night. I place my glass of drink on the sink, open my cabinet which doubles as my mirror and take out my sleeping tablets. I open the container and empty its contents into my right hand as I drop the container and pick up my drink. I look at the tablets in my hand, heave a sigh, look at myself in the mirror, close my eyes,pour all the tablets in my mouth and wash it down with the drink in my other hand. I walk to the sitting room and place the glass on the table…………………..

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

I open my eyes slowly and as I do so, I can feel sadness and it feels like live has been drained out of a place. I could feel the cold touch of death. I used to think everywhere turns white when you are dead but this place is blue. Blue? Maybe it is the skies. I guess all those Hollywood movies I watched in my lifetime were just lying. I hear voices. Where are the voices coming from? Am I close to heaven? Oh my God! Heaven! The voices are closer now, I must be close to heaven. A smile breaks out on my face. The smile was short lived as the blue surroundings was replaced by a team of doctors. They pulled back the blue curtains screening me from other patients in the ward. It was their voices I was hearing as they are having their morning rounds. They are five in number. An elderly man with grey hair is wearing a white scrub and the other four doctors consisting of three women and a man are in blue scrubs. I guess they are interns.
One of the doctors in blue scrubs spoke saying ” Frank Ehinomen, 30, was brought in last night at about 9:30pm by a group of friends who found him unconscious in his living room. He had ingested 27 tablets of Lexotan.”
“His system was purged of the drugs and he has since been in stable condition and his vitals are ok. The drugs were not in his system for too long to cause damage to his liver” added another doctor in blue scrubs.
” You are a lucky man. You should really thank your friends who have been here all night” said the elderly doctor in white scrubs.
” I will inform your friends that you are awake” added an intern as the team moved to the next patient.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Here I am sitting down at the reception of a psychologist. Before I was discharged from the hospital, the doctor spoke to my friends and I saying I am suffering from depression even though I will not admit it and he asked me to talk to a professional. He even recommended one for me. She is a good friend of his. I did not want to agree before but my friends made me agree as they threatened fire and brimstone if I did not go.
The phone at the receptions rings and the receptionist after talking to the person on the line, drops the receiver and asks me to go into the office. I walk into the office and it has this homely feeling. There is a water dispenser just as I walk into the office. The office is spacious as it holds a large office desk with all sorts of files on it, a chair, a 3-seater couch and an armchair conveniently. The psychologist is on her feet with her hands stretched out to shake me. She offers me a seat on the couch as she also takes her seat in the armchair facing the couch. I sit on the couch and as I look round I notice a picture frame on the wall behind the office desk. She is standing beside a man who I assume is her husband and two children are standing in front of them. She confirms my assumption by telling that it is a picture of her husband with their two boys. I look at the picture again, then it hits me. Her husband was my late fiancée’s boss!!!!

To be continued ???

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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in Series

 

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It Ends Tonight

Thank God its almost friday…..A lot of people are so happy the weekend is close and they get to take a break from work. The closer you are to the weekend, the longer the day seems.

I walk into my living room and make my way slowly towards the bar. I fix myself a glass of Jack Daniel’s on the rocks. I sit down in the chair as I recall the event that happened at the restaurant. She broke up with me. I was shocked when the words came out of her mouth. She did not show any sign of not been happy with me. Yes, we fight like every couple but I thought we had a shot. She broke up with me and yet I did not feel any iota of disappointment. This is my 3rd failed relationship in the space of 3 years.

The women that have broken up with me in the past 3 years have complained about the same thing. I was not open enough and I was not letting my emotions show forth and I act like I am doing them a favour. Maybe they are right that I was not giving my best in the relationship. I might not be able to say the words they want to hear but they just have to realize that I am an onion at the moment and you have to peel me layer by layer before getting to the centre. I need time. I need time especially after what happened.

They all said I have not moved on. They all said I have not let go of the first woman I ever loved. They believed I was holding on and yes, they might have a point. If only they knew my secret. I told them all about the part where I lost her to a car accident. The part of me feeling responsible for her death is the part I leave out. How do I explain to them that I feel responsible for the accident?

I still remember like yesterday, five years ago when all we could talk about was our future. The number of kids we want to have, the kind of life we want to live and how happy a family we hoped to be. I threw all that away when I felt insecure about her married boss paying her a lot of attention. The gift he gave her on her birthday dwarfed mine and the jealousy just increased and I accused her of having an affair with him. She explained things that there was nothing happening and I did not even listen to her.

She came over that fateful night, she was about 45 minutes late. I had prepared dinner hoping we will talk over dinner and have make up sex. She apologized for coming late and that she had been stuck in a meeting with her boss. On hearing that, I just flared up, saying all sorts to her. She kept quiet through my rage and it just annoyed me more. She tried speaking when I stopped, I cut her off telling her it was over between us. I watched her as she broke down in tears and tried explaining herself to me. I did not listen and instead I walked her out of my house. She was trying to beg me but it all fell on deaf ears. I pushed her out of the house when she refused to leave.

My phone rang about two hours later, it was her. Why is she still calling? I picked up the call to ask her to stop calling. I heard a man’s voice on the line and he asked me to come to the hospital which he described to me. She been involved in an accident and he called me because my number was the last number dialed on her phone. I got to the hospital and I was taken straight to the morgue. She had died instantly from the impact of the collision with a stationary truck. I fell to my knees and tears just rolled out of my eyes. The doctor asked me if I was aware she was pregnant. Pregnant? I wailed like a baby. She was carrying a baby. A 3 weeks old baby. I had killed mother and child. I had driven both of them out of my house to their death all because I could not listen to her. My jealousy got the best of me.

The guilt still lives with me. How do I move on from that? The thought of it all sickens me and it weighs me down so bad that I just want to scream out to the world to help me but I cannot. I stand up from the chair and walk to the medicine cabinet in my room with my glass of drink still in my hand. Why am I still living ? I can no longer cope with this guilt. It is eating me alive. I get my sleeping pills from the cabinet. I am tired of living with this guilt. It ends tonight.

To be Continued ??

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2012 in Series

 

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What Exactly Do Women Want?

It has been a while I actually posted something that I wrote and thanks a lot to @DJ_Fleau for her post last week. It was a real lifesaver. How was your weekend? I guess it was just as fast as mine. I really wish weekend starts from wednesday. (Yes, I am lazy).

What exactly do women want? I have asked myself this question numerous times and I have tried hard to figure it out. Truth be told, it might vary from woman to woman but really, we guys do not actually have a clue as to what women want. Even some of these women do not actually know what they want. Most women you meet tell you their ideal man should be tall,dark,handsome,rich and blah, blah,blah. At the end of the day they meet the man and at the end of the day something is still missing. They still have something to complain about.

A girl and a boy meet and like each other and naturally she expects the guy to make the first move. If he moves too fast, he is desperate, if he takes his time, he is slow and has bad timing. What do women want?

Let us assume he gets the timing right by a stroke of luck, if he compliments her (genuine or otherwise) he just wants to sleep with her. If he does not throw the compliment around, he is not romantic and he is not open. What do women want?

She goes on a date with him, if he tries to be nice and opens doors and holds the chair out for her during the date, he is trying to hard and it is not in our culture. If he does not open doors or hold out the chair for her, he is not a gentleman. What do women want?

After the date, they probably are close and the feelings are stronger, if he does not reply her chat on time, he is busy with someone else and does not have her time. If he replies her immediately he is jobless. What do women want?
If he replies her with ‘K’ she is boring to him. If he types an epistle he talks too much. What do women want?

Finally they start dating, and things are all rosy. If he asks what her day is going to be like, he does not trust her and he is allover her. If he does not ask after her plans for the day, he does not care about her. What do women want?

If she gets into a fight with her best friend, and you decide to stay out of it, you are not supportive of her. If you decide to weigh in on it and say your mind, you are insensitive. What do women want?

If she asks you if she has added weight, and you say no, you are lying to her. If you say yes, she gets angry at you and starts feeling insecure and haunts you with what you said. She shows you girls who are skinny and asks that is what you want right? What do women want?

If you decide to hangout with your guys one weekend in the month instead of with her, she feels spited and says your friends are more important than she is. She makes you feel guilty, but when you want her to spend a weekend with you instead of with her friends, you are too possessive. What do women want?

If you decide to watch football instead of go shopping with her, football is your priority. She says things like how much are you going to get for watching it. If she decides to watch Kardashians and you say same, you are selfish. What do women want?

The list is endless. It takes a lot to actually understand women. A wise man once told me , if you want to be happy with your woman, just take her as she is. They are emotional and at times will do things that just makes you wonder if they are babies. Never try to change your woman.

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Article

 

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Ladies First

*dusts cobweb from blog*
It has been a crazy week or two for me as I have been busy and well I also did hit a creative wall. All that I guess is gone now. This week I am having a guest on my blog. She has been a guest on my blog before with the post here. You can also visit her blog. I should warn you that you should read that blog with someone so people will not think you are mad when you start laughing alone. You can follow her on Twitter @DJ_Fleau. #ThankMeLater

LADIES FIRST….. no be bad thing to spoil man

God made man and then He thought to himself it is not good that man should be alone so He made for him a help mate WOMAN. The story is so straight to the point God created a help mate not a man mugu maker.

I am sure most women have said stuffs like “can you imagine the yeye boy he saw me buying coke he did not even pay for it. He sat there and watched me pay or can you imagine he paid for his bus fare alone and he allowed me pay for mine or can you imagine that boy he met me at the cafeteria he didn’t even offer to pay for my food (Why didn’t you offer to pay for his instead since he forgot to offer to pay for you)”

Its funny how over the years the world has been made to believe that anytime a man and woman go out or meet somewhere it is automatically the job of the man to pay for whatever bills they might incur as long as he knows the woman e.g. meeting him in a bus, you guys seeing a movie together, having lunch or dinner etc. It is like the job of man to pay for everything. Most women do not even leave with money anymore when going out with a man and most women would return their wallet to their bags the moment they see a man they know walking towards them because they assume he would pay for them.

What is wrong with a lady paying the bill for a date, what is wrong with a lady paying for the movie they are to see or the popcorn at the cinema, what’s wrong with paying his cab fare home (yes I said it), buying airtime for him or paying for his BIS without him asking for it and so on. Its little things like this that matter most times and men are more likely to remember things like this.

Truth is some men might see you as being cocky or a show off if you decide to foot the bill on a first date (depends on how you acted while paying), I am not saying you should pay regularly but at least once a yellow moon would be a nice time to pay for something. Believe me any reasonable man would appreciate that. You guys are at the cinema and you guys are selecting the movie and you quickly reach for your wallet and say “let me get this one you can get the popcorn” (The problem is most ladies can not do this because they always go on a date with empty wallet no vex money and have turned the man to sole provider).

I know you buy him gifts on Valentine’s Day, Christmas, his birthday, your anniversary or casually. I am not just talking about your boo, bobo, spouse, boyfriend, man or whatever they are called these days, I am referring to that young man you met yesterday at work, the young man you met on a flight, the young man who just told you he liked you, the young man who wants to spend time with you, that young man you met in the bus (what’s wrong with paying his bus money sef) etc.

I for one try to pay bills on first date, I might not pay for everything we purchase but I try at least to make sure I pay for something even if its just N200 for the drink we bought or for a snooker game he played or something, nothing is too small to pay for.

I am sure there are men reading this who cannot even say the colour of their babe’s wallet or purse because she never carries it or bring it out (shebi na when you ready to spend you go carry wallet now) when she has a walking bank beside her.
Who said men must always be the first to foot bills, God created Man FIRST before woman and not FIRST BANK. Except your boyfriend’s name is FIRST BANK then I guess when it comes to bill the guy will pay till eternity.

I know some men do not like women paying the bills neither am I saying the woman should pay for everything on a date because the truth is she might not have as much money as the man after all it was he that invited the babe and it was not in her budget at all but at least once a while babes should try small small. Do not wait until marriage before you start paying, when you and your husband go out. It is from boyfriend-girlfriend or normal friendship that things start

The one that cracks me up is when a babe invites a guy out to see a movie, or just hang out somewhere and when they get there he foots all the bill, she wont even try to open her bag to bring out her wallet not to talk of paying, she would simply order stand aside and watch him pay.*smh profusely*

I am not saying the babe should spend on a man over and over (its not like something is wrong with that), but I just feel a small thing as paying for the gala he buys in traffic, money for the parking space ticket (e no dey pass N200), bottle water he buys, the shoe maker that polished his shoe, the vulcanizer that pumped his tire…truth is when you pay for this at the end of the day he probably would try to repay you the money with triple the sum you paid (no collect am o) simply smile and say “it was nothing”.

Let me teach you a quick trick when next you go out to a restaurant or some place put your hand in your bag or bring out your wallet like you want to pay, you would see he would look at you and give you a smile like what are you doing simply smile back and say let me get this one, he definitely would say NO I got this one (that’s if na correct boy, no go try this one with Mr. AKA-GLUE…..baba ijebu, because you go pay tire).

How about we ladies try something that is out of norm, when next you go out with your mister pay his cab fare home, when next you run into your male colleague in the bus do not zip up your bag with your mind saying “ope ooo this guy go pay my bus fare” how about you pay for it, how about when next you go on a date for the first time with a brother you tell him you would love to share the bill (I know its sounds weird).

Most men respect ladies like this, they see her as independent yet considerate, they appreciate such women because they assume that such a lady wont turn them into their ATM (even if you do sef the guy no go feel am) plus as a lady its kinda fun when you take the role of the man for a second.

PS: Come this one no mean say because I talk say babes should try and pay first you brothers should start forming she should get the bill, na once a yellow moon I talk oo….. Once a while Ladies should do the stuffs first…

I am FLEAU.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Article

 

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