RSS

Categories Of Nigerian Men

15 Dec

We all need one another to survive. We need someone to depend one. Someone to help us through our pains. Even as a blogger there are times when you hit a wall. You just cannot seem to get something to write. I hit such wall and my friend @Dj_Fleau agreed to be a guest on my blog this week (she will still come back). To read her blog, just visit here . Finally, as a note of warning, do not read her blog in an elevator with people because they will just assume you are mad when you start laughing hysterically for no reason. Enjoy.

During the week I lost my smart phone and on the day I lost it I remember how I walked home looking puzzled and starving too, I can vividly remember how I downed 2 packs of indomie with excess pepper like a hungry child from Uganda and all I could say to myself during the meal was “I think I should blame spiritual forces for this unexplainable disappearance of my phone in a classy environment or wait is there a part in the manual that says this phone is entitled to an annual leave during Christmas and so can leave whenever it chooses to with or without the consent of the owner” after all it’s a smart phone and so can do whatever it wants to “dear smart phone I paid your dowry so kindly respect yourself and waka come back”.
In a bid to distract myself from thinking about my misplaced beloved phone which by the way contains major files that I hold dear to my heart (my blog post, quotes, pictures some vital documents I mean that stuff wasn’t just a phone to me it was my mini memory) I decided to read and eat at the same time (this is something I do all the time anyway) I picked up a magazine that was published 2years ago. One of the columnist had written something about the 5 types of men and was asking which would you date and to my amazement I read through all the types and based on my standards (they are not so high like that) I realized none of the types scaled through and for a second it got me thinking are my standards too high or is it that this kind of men don’t exist in Nigeria or Nigerian women don’t fancy these types of men or was the columnist just misyarning. I concluded that the columnist was definitely misyarning opas for all I care.
I thought to myself what kind of men do we have in Nigeria sef, I mean I have never categorized men into types and all. I came up with my own 5 types of men

MR INCREDIBLE

I am not referring to MI…..thank you. These are the kind of men you can’t believe are human beings, they always say the right things, act the right way, treat you in the right manner. They might not necessarily be prince charming but personality wise they are charming. They feel like the perfect husband material and great father product, they can cook and wash for themselves, they believe in egalitarian type of family (both of you have equal rights). Your friends meet them and ask if they have a brother who’s still single, you mum always ask after their well being and every time he walks through the door your proud he is your man….I bet you reading this is prolly saying God make me this kind of man and if you’re a lady God make me meet this kind of man…..well kindly perish the thought and read the next paraphrase.
They have just one flaw and that is their inability to never forgive a wrong. He feels he has given you all and so doesn’t expect you to be human and fall short. The moment you mess up he kicks you out no coming back. The weird thing is he would always put you in a position to offend him like his intentionally trying to make you look bad, it aint his fault he needs some assurance that this investment aint a loss. You probably would spend half of your time re-assuring mr incredible that you are the right woman and we ladies know how tiring and tasking it is when you always have to re-assure a man….*im trying to get paid out so mi o really ra ye iru bullshit like re-assurance to a full grown man all the time layii se politician*

MR SHARP GUY

Like my friend would say “for your mind na you sharp pass”.
They are success stories, you know a young man with a good business or great career, top of their class or best employee 4years in a row. They are intelligent; they can tell you your whole physiological composition. They keep tap of your cycles, they are just smart like that.
These set of men always feel too smart for everyone even themselves, the phrase “I’m too smart for this is the most used in their phrase bank”. They can’t have a straight conversation with a lady without trying to display their brilliance even when it has to do with an issue as small as talking about the benefits of boli “bbm sarcasm phrase” .
They always try to outsmart a lady, you know for their mind na dem bad pass. They are the type that would cheat on you with your mum and still tell you a perfect story that would make them look good.

MR HARDEYI

I bet some people are like hardeyi ke…I am not talking about hardeyi the blogger oo. These are the types of men that give you the impression that they have no emotions but funny thing is they are the best set of men to be with when it comes to emotional things. When they set their hearts to love it’s a done deal. They are adventurous, funny, expressive, they spend a lot on selected women, they are daring and so would go miles for their loved ones. They are in touch with their culture and beliefs and have respect for God. They always explore realms when it comes to a woman…..you know sample before you buy. Its never a dull moment with them. Like red bull they would always give you wings to do and undo. These men know how to bring you out of your timid, comfort and fear zone into limelight.
They have a nice sense of dressing and being around them feels very cozy because you can be you with them and not some plastic
The only flaw these men probably have is over watching of soccer or should I say their addiction to a particular habit that they might value more than you. It would take you some debate, fights and maybe a few tears….let’s make that a Geepee tank of tears to make them stop.

MY CRUSH

Yep my crush is like most Nigerian men, they like you a lot and even a blind mouse can tell, they are so much into PDA, so be ready to receive more kisses and hugs rather than gifts and dates out (cheapo). They are very open and would never hide anything from you. They declare their feelings openly and would readily humiliate themselves to show their love for you.
These set of men to me are the most annoying. They are very unstable, one month they declare their love and the next you know they go MIA for months only to resurface to reclaim their lost love.
They play with your emotions (I don’t know if its intentional or if they were just born confused), Funny thing is when you decide to date another man that’s exactly when these set of men would start chasing you to declare their undying love “it makes me wonder egbon e wo ni eleyi mii gbadun style yii rara” wait do I look like one of the Disney princesses abi them tell you say na my destiny to wait for ogbeni charming to come and rescue me *oga ja jor*

MR NOBODY

These set of men are the regulars. They like to play safe, they are out of style, they act like they dropped from space. They are stiff and the type of men who would wear the same navy blue coat for 3 weeks on different colours of pants and shirts.
You would always feel lost in their world I mean even they are confused. If you are rigid and the over busy type then you should go for these type they would always be a muktaru for you..

You know what they say why are the good men always taken, married or gay….that’s a good question and here is my answer to that. There is no such thing as a good man its what he is and what you make out of him that would determine how he would turn out to be.

Here is my advice dear women train your boys to become fine young men and dear Nigerian babes be men friendly cos una own don dey too much…you better read just before you go old grow cobwebs as a spinster….

I am wondering what type of man do I like ……. “I’ll just keep that to myself”

PS: should incase you see my smart phone some were around you kindly tell it to return or else I would replace it with something better and I aint bragging….

Oh by the way my name is FLEAU

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Advertisements
 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

9 responses to “Categories Of Nigerian Men

  1. temmy haryeni

    December 17, 2011 at 4:48 am

    This is cool,nice work

     
  2. adeniyi ademola

    December 16, 2011 at 9:57 am

    LoL. really Good

     
  3. MizDahmi

    December 15, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Awww this is really nice….wonderful piece,thumbs up.

     
  4. doll

    December 15, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    😉 nice!

     
  5. Jmoks

    December 15, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Cool write – up fleau. Hardeyi, in ur mind now, Ʋ hv ur own class of men……lol

     
  6. Adepitan olufunmie

    December 15, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Lol! Buh dis is not all na, I cnt see my type of man here!! Good, rily good!!!

     
  7. fleau

    December 15, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    thank you all…..i would love to come back here if tolu invites me again

     
  8. ayojoibukun

    December 15, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    This is so true! But I can’t find my class here now and ‘I aint bragging’ ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯ mo perfect like dat and loving and name it somewhat close to d Mr Hardeyi type but better :p :p and Nice piece FLU or fuuu waiting to have u back! 🙂

     
  9. ilove2read

    December 15, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Dis is so on point…….. You shuld feature your friend often…….

     

Enter comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: