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Monthly Archives: December 2011

End That Relationship

Cheers to the thousands of Chickens that lost their lives over the past three days. Merry Christmas in arrears. On a sad note, rest in peace to those who lost their lives in the bombings that took place in northern and central Nigeria on christmas day. May God protect us all.

I have come to realize (after various attempts) that having a relationship is hard work and requires patience. Every relationship has its ups and down. There is a thin line between staying in a relationship to work things out and been stupid. Here are some reasons I believe you should put an end to a relationship. I decided to be bias towards any sex during the writing of this post.

1. No Privacy

Your partner monitors messages and e-mails, whenever you receive phone calls (s)he is always trying to know who you were talking to. You literally have to lock yourself up in the toilet to pick up calls. End that relationship!!! Before you know it (s)he will ask you to put your phone on speaker and starts deleting messages and e-mails (s)he feels are not important. Find someone who is loving and caring not a control freak.

2. Interference With Other Relationships

When your partner hangs out with their friends it is ok, but when you decide to hang out your friends it becomes a big deal. (S)he throws tantrums like a child and blackmails you emotionally. When you wave aside the blackmails and hang out with your friends, when you come back, there is some sort of “punishment” for leaving him/her alone. End that relationship!!! It starts that way and before you know it (s)he wants you to place them before your family. Find someone who enjoys being with most of the people you care about. If not, your relationship will be full of frustration.

3. Your Personal Life Is No Longer Personal

You are out with your friends and your partner suddenly blurts out ” Do you (s)he cries when (s)he has an orgasm?” and when you try to call him/her on it he/she simply tells you it was just to make the conversation amusing and you are too sensitive.
Whether you re humiliated or not, as long as he/she thinks your personal life would make conversations amusing, end that relationship!! Find someone who wants you to be happy and confident about yourself and your life.

4. Cannot Let Go Of The Past

We have all experienced disappointment in life, but we try as much as possible to get over it and move on with our lives. Even in relationships we have to let go of those who have hurt us.
If your partner keeps on talking about his/her ex, takes you to places the ex took him/her to, hoping to run into the ex, or (s)he sometimes calls you the ex’s name, end that relationship!!!! You do not want to be with someone who is thinking of someone else half the time (s)he is with you. Find someone who is ready to have a relationship with you rather than someone trying to use to get to his/her ex.

5. Abuse

No one deserves to be abused. Whether it is physical,mental or emotional, (s)he has no reason to subject you to that. When in love it is very easy to justify and explain your partner’s behaviour but you deserve better treatment from him/her if (s)he wants to be with you. End that relationship. Find someone who knows your worth and respects you.

You are probably nodding your head as you are going through one or more of the above. If so, maybe it is time for you to make a change. I would never try to break a relationship, but if this post has made you take a long look at your relationship, then were you really happy to begin with??

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Posted by on December 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Diary Of A Nigerian Girl

Its a few days to Christmas and I am sure a lot of you have made plans and are eagerly awaiting the day. I know chickens are saying final goodbyes to one another and are wishing the cup will pass them (if I hear). Thanks for taking time to read my blog. This is wishing a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance. Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season.

This week I have decided to have a guest on my blog. I used to have a huge crush on her (maybe I still do) but we are friends right now. I came across a tweet a few days and all it said was Diary of A Nigerian Girl. It struck me as an interesting topic but it is better written by a lady. I had to ask her to help out and here we are today. She also blogs and you can read her posts here. She is @jayajade..

WARNING: If you cannot think outside the box, please DO NOT read this post.

1st May 2007

New month- my sis is going to turn 18 soon… and with all these thoughts of growing up…I sometimes wonder when I’m ever going to find someone that loves me enough to stick with me…. Thought I loved him but like Sid from the movie said.. ‘the difference between rap and hip-hop’……

21st May 2007

These days I wake up in the morning so happy, its almost unbelievable…..

June 6th 2007

I’ve decided to learn stuff I’m supposed to know…

June 7th 2007

Ps. I found out that this guy I really like has a girlfriend ;(..hurts God dey sha..

June 27th 2007

Can’t believe how angry I was this morning… pure unadulterated rage. God help me….please

November 22nd 2007

Just finished Ted Dekker’s ‘when heaven weeps’ and once again I feel God speaking to me beyond the fiction..

5th January 2008

Happy New Year!!!!! I have to work on reading my Bible more during the holidays… lol I remembered Victor today and almost felt miserable… how can one person drive me crazy so?

3rd February 2008

I really love God… not because of what he gives me but because He’s always there – even in my dark days. On 31st January, I was at the scene of an armed robbery incident…it’s nothing like the films.. I just thank God for my life.

8th April 2008

I turned 20 on the 3rd – I guess I’m officially an adult now.. so why do I feel so young inside..lol I love it though..

20th April 2008

Things I want in my future husband – this isn’t a compulsory list but hey..*shrugs*
Cute (let’s face it the face is the first thing I’ll see)
God fearing
Tall (about a head or so taller)
Dark
Smart
Hardworking
Disciplined and prayerful (mostly to help me)
Love kids – and be interested in being a family not just having one..
Loving, romantic and caring
..for now this list ends here… you told me ask Lord and I did…..

2nd Sept 2008

Heeeey been a while…. Convocation was in July sorry June.. the 13th to be precise… I’m still not a flawless human being but God’s been helping me and I’m learning to be happy…

3rd March 2010

I’m tired …just wanted to officially launch my new journal…

24th March 2010

I’m such a worrier….

9th April 2010

I learned to always pray within God’s will….
Saw Kaoru today..*sigh* my heart actually skipped a few beats

10th April 2010

Nobody’s perfect

6th May 2010

Without darkness, you’ll never know how good light feels

18th May 2010

Lol…it has been a while…I’ve been sooo busy with my thesis work… I’ve been having some relapse issues that God is helping me through…

4th June 2010

I’m thinking a lot lately…not just thinking but thinking deeply….why do I lose my temper so easily?, who are my friends… will I really be able to fulfill my dreams??..

3rd July 2010

I’m done with school!!!! Yay me!.. loving my life right now…
Note to self: if you ever read this later, listen to Solange Knowles ‘Sandcastle disco”… you absolutely love that song… gotta go now..

17th August 2011

It’s been crazy, almost eight months since my last entry… so let me try to update between July and January, I got a job, got my NYSC posting, went off to camp in Ekiti, and came back…. I’m at work now and my service year ends soon….

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Categories Of Nigerian Men

We all need one another to survive. We need someone to depend one. Someone to help us through our pains. Even as a blogger there are times when you hit a wall. You just cannot seem to get something to write. I hit such wall and my friend @Dj_Fleau agreed to be a guest on my blog this week (she will still come back). To read her blog, just visit here . Finally, as a note of warning, do not read her blog in an elevator with people because they will just assume you are mad when you start laughing hysterically for no reason. Enjoy.

During the week I lost my smart phone and on the day I lost it I remember how I walked home looking puzzled and starving too, I can vividly remember how I downed 2 packs of indomie with excess pepper like a hungry child from Uganda and all I could say to myself during the meal was “I think I should blame spiritual forces for this unexplainable disappearance of my phone in a classy environment or wait is there a part in the manual that says this phone is entitled to an annual leave during Christmas and so can leave whenever it chooses to with or without the consent of the owner” after all it’s a smart phone and so can do whatever it wants to “dear smart phone I paid your dowry so kindly respect yourself and waka come back”.
In a bid to distract myself from thinking about my misplaced beloved phone which by the way contains major files that I hold dear to my heart (my blog post, quotes, pictures some vital documents I mean that stuff wasn’t just a phone to me it was my mini memory) I decided to read and eat at the same time (this is something I do all the time anyway) I picked up a magazine that was published 2years ago. One of the columnist had written something about the 5 types of men and was asking which would you date and to my amazement I read through all the types and based on my standards (they are not so high like that) I realized none of the types scaled through and for a second it got me thinking are my standards too high or is it that this kind of men don’t exist in Nigeria or Nigerian women don’t fancy these types of men or was the columnist just misyarning. I concluded that the columnist was definitely misyarning opas for all I care.
I thought to myself what kind of men do we have in Nigeria sef, I mean I have never categorized men into types and all. I came up with my own 5 types of men

MR INCREDIBLE

I am not referring to MI…..thank you. These are the kind of men you can’t believe are human beings, they always say the right things, act the right way, treat you in the right manner. They might not necessarily be prince charming but personality wise they are charming. They feel like the perfect husband material and great father product, they can cook and wash for themselves, they believe in egalitarian type of family (both of you have equal rights). Your friends meet them and ask if they have a brother who’s still single, you mum always ask after their well being and every time he walks through the door your proud he is your man….I bet you reading this is prolly saying God make me this kind of man and if you’re a lady God make me meet this kind of man…..well kindly perish the thought and read the next paraphrase.
They have just one flaw and that is their inability to never forgive a wrong. He feels he has given you all and so doesn’t expect you to be human and fall short. The moment you mess up he kicks you out no coming back. The weird thing is he would always put you in a position to offend him like his intentionally trying to make you look bad, it aint his fault he needs some assurance that this investment aint a loss. You probably would spend half of your time re-assuring mr incredible that you are the right woman and we ladies know how tiring and tasking it is when you always have to re-assure a man….*im trying to get paid out so mi o really ra ye iru bullshit like re-assurance to a full grown man all the time layii se politician*

MR SHARP GUY

Like my friend would say “for your mind na you sharp pass”.
They are success stories, you know a young man with a good business or great career, top of their class or best employee 4years in a row. They are intelligent; they can tell you your whole physiological composition. They keep tap of your cycles, they are just smart like that.
These set of men always feel too smart for everyone even themselves, the phrase “I’m too smart for this is the most used in their phrase bank”. They can’t have a straight conversation with a lady without trying to display their brilliance even when it has to do with an issue as small as talking about the benefits of boli “bbm sarcasm phrase” .
They always try to outsmart a lady, you know for their mind na dem bad pass. They are the type that would cheat on you with your mum and still tell you a perfect story that would make them look good.

MR HARDEYI

I bet some people are like hardeyi ke…I am not talking about hardeyi the blogger oo. These are the types of men that give you the impression that they have no emotions but funny thing is they are the best set of men to be with when it comes to emotional things. When they set their hearts to love it’s a done deal. They are adventurous, funny, expressive, they spend a lot on selected women, they are daring and so would go miles for their loved ones. They are in touch with their culture and beliefs and have respect for God. They always explore realms when it comes to a woman…..you know sample before you buy. Its never a dull moment with them. Like red bull they would always give you wings to do and undo. These men know how to bring you out of your timid, comfort and fear zone into limelight.
They have a nice sense of dressing and being around them feels very cozy because you can be you with them and not some plastic
The only flaw these men probably have is over watching of soccer or should I say their addiction to a particular habit that they might value more than you. It would take you some debate, fights and maybe a few tears….let’s make that a Geepee tank of tears to make them stop.

MY CRUSH

Yep my crush is like most Nigerian men, they like you a lot and even a blind mouse can tell, they are so much into PDA, so be ready to receive more kisses and hugs rather than gifts and dates out (cheapo). They are very open and would never hide anything from you. They declare their feelings openly and would readily humiliate themselves to show their love for you.
These set of men to me are the most annoying. They are very unstable, one month they declare their love and the next you know they go MIA for months only to resurface to reclaim their lost love.
They play with your emotions (I don’t know if its intentional or if they were just born confused), Funny thing is when you decide to date another man that’s exactly when these set of men would start chasing you to declare their undying love “it makes me wonder egbon e wo ni eleyi mii gbadun style yii rara” wait do I look like one of the Disney princesses abi them tell you say na my destiny to wait for ogbeni charming to come and rescue me *oga ja jor*

MR NOBODY

These set of men are the regulars. They like to play safe, they are out of style, they act like they dropped from space. They are stiff and the type of men who would wear the same navy blue coat for 3 weeks on different colours of pants and shirts.
You would always feel lost in their world I mean even they are confused. If you are rigid and the over busy type then you should go for these type they would always be a muktaru for you..

You know what they say why are the good men always taken, married or gay….that’s a good question and here is my answer to that. There is no such thing as a good man its what he is and what you make out of him that would determine how he would turn out to be.

Here is my advice dear women train your boys to become fine young men and dear Nigerian babes be men friendly cos una own don dey too much…you better read just before you go old grow cobwebs as a spinster….

I am wondering what type of man do I like ……. “I’ll just keep that to myself”

PS: should incase you see my smart phone some were around you kindly tell it to return or else I would replace it with something better and I aint bragging….

Oh by the way my name is FLEAU

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Posted by on December 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

The Note

I am so sorry for this post coming late. I have been busy of late and I know that is not an excuse, but thank you for understanding.

Breaking the ice is one of the most difficult things to do. It is very easy to make a complete fool out of one.

DISCLAIMER: The event in this post might or might not have happened. Reader Discretion is advised.

March 2006, 7:45am

How I hate Mondays. The situation was even more annoying has I had been denied weekend exeat by my Hall Officer ( what a jerk). My timetable on Monday was even more annoying. Class starts at 8am. I left my hostel and headed towards class. I met my friend Chidi on the way, and we talked about Manchester United’s performance on Saturday.
Lecture Hall C301, College of Business and Social Sciences, I stepped into the class and I exchanged pleasantries with my course mates (friends and frenemies). Some students were dubbing assignment while others were making idle talk. I stopped to talk to the Class Representative while Chidi went to get a seat.
After talking to her (Class Rep), I looked up to see where Chidi was seating. I walked towards him and then I noticed you sitting close to the window and looking outside. I kept my eyes on you as I was walking till you looked at me and then I looked away. I sat down when I got to my seat and brought out my note. Few minutes later,the girl in front of me tapped me and gave me a note from you. My heart skipped a beat. Finally!!! Finally you have noticed me. You have decided to break the ice. I know this must have been difficult for you, but thanks for doing it for us.
I smiled at you and you smiled back. You stood up from your seat to come sit beside me. I was so shy. My palms were sweaty. You told me you had noticed how I look at you from our first year and that you think I am cute. I giggled like a piglet and could not even construct a full sentence. I was so nervous. I finally managed to tell you I just got scared of you turning me down, and that is why I could not tell you how I feel. You told me not to worry and you understand how I feel and that everything will be fine. We will be fine. Before you left for your seat, you pecked and patted my shoulder.
I felt my shoulder moving. Chidi was trying to get my attention. The whole class was on their feet greeting the lecturer. I was day-dreaming. I opened the note you sent. You asked me to zip up as my zip was down. I was so embarrassed. Embarrassed not because my zip was down but because it was you who noticed. The lecture started and I drifted off again to my fantasies about you and me.

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Posted by on December 14, 2011 in Uncategorized