Monthly Archives: November 2011

Dead or Alive

I actually do not know what to call this post, but you can call it whatever you want. I hope you find it interesting.

The hospital was a beehive of activities, two nurses were pushing a patient on a gurney down the hallway, it was not till they passed me that I noticed it is a actually a dead body with the sheet pulled over the head. The hospital staff were cold and unfeeling. They kept avoiding eye contact and polite conversation. It was as if the pain and death in the hospital had drained away their humanity.
I continued my walk down the hallway, I saw a man trying to console his wife as the doctor broke the news of the death of their son. I tried talking to them but my mouth could not move. They did not even notice me standing beside them. I could feel their grief and it was really cold. I turned left as I got to the end of the hallway. There was a door and above the lintel of the door were the words “Intensive Care Unit” boldly on the wall. I pushed the door open, there were rooms to the left and right. The place was choking and I felt nauseated. It seemed like there was a lack of oxygen in there or was it because majority of the patients in the ward were hanging by a thread. No one knowing if they will die or live. I smiled at the nurse who was walking towards me, there is a spot of blood on her uniform. She did not return my smile. What kind of hospital is this? Why are the staff so unfriendly and unsympathetic?
The whole ward was silent, except for the beeping of life-support machines. I could hear faintly my favourite track by Adele “Don’t You Remember” coming from the end of the ward. I walked towards the direction the music was coming from. It took me to Room 10. I looked into the room and there you were. You were seated by the bedside of a patient. I called out to you but you did not respond. I called your name again as I walked towards you. You stood up and started walking towards me. It was then I noticed that your eyes were swollen and red. I asked what was wrong with your eyes but nothing came out of your mouth. You stopped right in front of me and as I tried to hug you, I could not. I kept going through you. I could not understand what was happening. You turned and walked back to take your seat. I asked you who the patient is, and I did not get any reply from you. I got very angry and shouted at you, asking why you were ignoring me. You just burst out in tears. I walked over to comfort you and then I got the greatest shock of my life. The patient is ME!

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Posted by on November 28, 2011 in Uncategorized


My Nightmare

DISCLAIMER : All the characters,incidents and places in this POST are fictional. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead or to any event or place is purely coincidental.

Everyday for the thief,one day for the owner. I have heard this saying so much that it had lost its significance. I could compare it to the terms and conditions you have to accept before you install a software or an application or make use of something. I know one day I will regret just accepting the terms and conditions without actually reading what it says. One thing I am sure of is @jeunebelle will give me good legal representation without charge.*holds laugh*

The weather was perfect. The birds were chirping and sky was blue. The sun was shining brightly without its wrath, made me feel like the ozone layer had come back from it long vacation (folktales). The flowers around were blossoming. The grass within the premises of the church was green and fresh. You will be tempted to actually lie down.

My name is Dotun (and I am not a terrorist). Today is my wedding.The news that i was settling down came as a surprise to my friends. They all knew me to be a player who hardly had a steady girlfriend. My manhood was my compass and wherever it pointed to, I went. Pretty cool aint it. I met Bunmi through her step-sister, Seyi , who was my friend. During one of my visits to her place in the company of my friends, I met Bunmi who had just finished her youth service then. Fast forward by four years and I was getting married to her.

Bunmi looked so stunning in her strapless white wedding gown and even Vera Wang would have been proud if the gown Bunmi was wearing was designed by her. The gown hugged her perfectly and her womanly curves were displayed for everyone to see. I could hear groans of jealousy from the congregation as her father walked her to the altar. My best-friend who was also my best man had called me a lucky bastard because I did not deserve her. Her father lifted the veil over her face and I still could not believe she agreed to marry me. He handed her over to me and I helped her up the altar.

The Pastor was about to start the church service proper when Seyi stood up and walked towards the altar. I was shocked when she collected the microphone from the Pastor.

” I cannot let this marriage happen” she said

A lot of murmurs came from the congregation. Bunmi looked like she was going to faint. She wanted to talk but her words failed her. She was speechless.The Pastor then asked why the marriage could not take place.

” Dotun is a liar and he does not deserve my sister” Seyi replied

The whole congregation turned to look at me. I wished the ground had opened at that moment and swallowed me. Like magic, Bunmi found her voice.

” What has he done wrong? ” she asked

” Has he told you of the arrangement I had with him?”

” Yes he has. He told me the two of you were sex partners before he met me” replied Bunmi

There were a lot of whispers and side-talks from the entire congregation as this was revealed

“Bunmi, my sister what Dotun did not tell is the fact that even when you started dating him, we were still having sex and the last time we did was last night”

There was great silence in the church. My mother had her head in her hands, my father was simply shaking his head with disappointment written allover his face. My mother-in-law was already crying and her husband was trying to console her. There was a loud bang in the church.

The next thing I knew, I was on the ground sweating profusely and my best-friend was banging on the door of my room asking me to wake upĀ  and get ready for my wedding ceremony and asking me if I was developing cold feet. I replied him saying no. Only if he knew. I crossed my finger as I brushed my teeth, hoping my dream will not be a reality.


Posted by on November 17, 2011 in Uncategorized


This Is Not An Apology

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you are wanking and your dad enters your room #okbye

Why do women make the cardinal mistake of thinking you can change a man? Why do some women turn men to projects they need to work on? This sickens and disgusts me. Why go back on the terms and conditions of something?
Is sticking to one’s word so difficult?
“Love does not live here at the moment” was what I told you. You replied me asking “Who told you I was looking for love?”. This conversation gave birth to the union of two people who after discussing found out they wanted to keep things strictly physical.No emotions.
We hooked up often and yes we did have fun. Even after we were done I could still hear those passionate moans and groans that we made and how our sweaty bodies glided against one another and I felt like we were one. I could still feel your hot breath on me. Things became frequent and we found new ways to amuse and pleasure ourselves.It seemed perfect.Nothing could go wrong. I was so wrong.
The nagging started. I could not understand why you were nagging. The last time I checked we were not dating so why should you nag. Why should I put up with you complaining that I do not call or text you post-coitus? Why should I put up with all the questions about the phone calls I refuse to pick while you are around?
You put the final nail in the coffin when you tried to tie me down and make me commit to something that was not true. I was suspicious at first and you refusing to take a test was the first thing that confirmed my suspicion. Asking me not to tell my folks was the second and you been the one to suggest getting rid of it was the last thing that proved me right. You claim to have lied to me because you love me and did not want me to go and you were hoping I would change.
I blame myself for everything. I should have understood when you started nagging that you had developed feelings. I should have just let you be. I should have seen how you so much believe in fairy tales. I should have let someone who was ready for you to meet you and make you happy. Even now because of all that happened you have sworn off men. I know I should feel guilty but I do not because you knew what you were getting into. Please move on with your life. Not every guy is me. I hope you get to read this. This is not apology, it is not.

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Posted by on November 13, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Extended Family

We all belong to a family. We have relatives. Some of them are so obnoxious and we just do not want to see them. Some are so loving and caring that you are always so happy to see them. However, members of our extended family are never the same. They fall under some categories and they include the following:

1 The Pace-Setters
They are the most successful member of an extended family. Sometimes you are lucky that they are your parents, other times you are not. Everyone in the family wants to be on their good side. If your parents are rich,they are wealthy. You either find going to their place intimidating or a wake up call(depending on your self-esteem). Nothing happens in the family without their say.This sometimes causes conflict in the family especially if they are younger.

2.The Ghosts
They are the members of your extended family that are usually mentioned in passing. This is very common among the Yorubas. All you hear is the name. They do not even have a picture to show. You are left with the task of trying to build an image of them in your head. You sometimes do not even meet them till they die!

3. The Favour-Seekers
Due to circumstances your parents are well-off than these members of your family. They are of two categories.
The first category are the favour-seekers that come bearing gifts. No matter how small it is they bring something to the family. This even encourages your folks to try and do more for them.
The second category are the favour-seekers that come with nothing. They come to your house, boss you around,eat your food and still complain when their needs are not fully met(WTF). They are the kind of relatives you do not like seeing but they come around often.

4. The Live-In
This is prominent among the Ibos. I have been to a friend’s house and when he was trying to explain our someone was related to him I got confused. These kind of relatives live with you, they have a room in the house. As a child you always feel that they are mean(some of them are), you dislike them. They hardly do anything in the house but are quick to point out mistakes. They report to your father for any slight mistake you make. They are the best ingredient to break a happy home(if you let them).

5. The Once In A Blue Moon
The only time you see them is when you go to the village or there is a family emergency. The time frame between the last time you see them and the next time you do is usually years. You even have to be re-introduced at times.
After all said and done, no matter which category members of your extended family fall into,your parents always tell you that they are family and as such you have to do all you can for them even when you owe nobody nothing *sighs*.

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Posted by on November 5, 2011 in Uncategorized